The downfall of Sirius Black
by sreduaram
Summary: Sirius Black; enjoys dating compulsively and is the player of the century. Marlene McKinnon; enjoys meddling in other people's business and will be the downfall of Sirius Black.


People always think doing prefect rounds is really boring. However I've found you notice some interesting things. It's like a muggle soap opera. It's how I found out that girls should never wear lipgloss with peanut oil in it – especially if you've got your eye set on Blaine Cooper. I've also discovered if you hide out in the fifth floor corridor, Filch will never find you. Don't ask me why – it's like he has a chronic phobia or something. I've also recently discovered that a favourite make out spot of the Gryffindor boys is the broom closet at the top of the stairs that lead down to the dungeons. And how I found this fact out is probably the strangest thing of all.

I should really say Gryffindor boy, not boys, as I've witnessed the one and only Sirius Black snogging three different girls in one night.

Don't get me wrong, Sirius is an absolute prick (I've learnt from experience), but the way he's worked this is smart – they're all from different houses with completely different friends, and absolutely nothing in common.

So we've got our girls - The Slytherin; Lyra Saunders, The Hufflepuff; Annabelle Ellis and the Ravenclaw; Grace Butler.

Lyra Saunders is nice, but she knows how to get what she wants. And what she wants is Black. She's a true Slytherin – cunning, smart and conniving, but I'm going to take a wild guess and say that these aren't the traits that Black likes. I'm leaning more towards the fact that she's leggy (and not afraid to show it) and a total flirt. Even when she's around Sirius in public. She's _all _over him.

Then you've got Annabelle Ellis. Think all Hufflepuffs are nice? Think again. She's the model bitch from hell. Tall, blonde and smoky-eyed and the fact that her school skirt is more a belt than anything else is most likely the reason that Sirius likes her. Unlike our favourite Slytherin, this girl is hard to get but she's hot and knows it. She'll put on the sweet little Hufflepuff façade, but one wrong move and she'll make your life a living hell. Translation: one finger on her "Siri" and you're dead.

Last is Grace Butler. A petite brunette who actually has some brains. She's a Ravenclaw who can rattle off history dates like an encyclopaedia and charm you with her wit. I'm guessing you've already gathered a trend in Sirius's choice of girls –he's not so much into the substance. So, why Grace Butler you ask? Well, she's got a tongue from heaven apparently. And I don't mean for talking.

So we've got the flirt, the bitch and the amazing kisser, all of who have been playing tonsil hockey with Sirius Black within the past two hours. You're probably wondering how these girls have not noticed that he's three-timing them all. Well, he's _the _Sirius Black. He flirts with every girl he sees, but it's as if these girls choose to ignore that. Sirius Black is a typical marauder – gorgeous, gorgeous and gorgeous. He's tall dark and handsome. Shaggy black hair with piercing grey eyes and a smile that could make even a nun want him. This isn't me admiring him – it's a well-known fact. This boy hit the gene jackpot.

I decided it was time for me to take this into my own hands – think of it as extended prefect duties. Definitely not the fact that I couldn't help but meddle in other people's business.

The next day at breakfast I sent three identical notes;

_Hey love,_

_Meet me at the tree by the lake after lunch – I'll be waiting. _

_Yours,_

_S.B_

One two the Ravenclaw table, one to the Hufflepuff table and one to the Slytherin table. I knew the marauders sat under that tree all the time – a benefit of two years doing prefect rounds with Remus Lupin. Meaning Sirius was bound to be there.

After my morning classes were finished I made my way outside. I just happened to end up sitting near the marauder's tree – _total _coincidence.

Not long after I arrived, Grace Butler came gliding down towards the tree. Sirius and his friends were already sitting there, laughing loudly at some joke. She approached them quietly, and without so much as a word, proceeded to stick her tongue down Sirius's throat. Sirius responded immediately. Apparently this was normal behaviour for the pair.

A few minutes later, I spotted Annabelle Ellis strutting down the hill, followed closely by Lyra Saunders. They reached the tree where Sirius was too busy snogging Grace to notice their presence, and both gasped audibly. James Potter cautiously tapped Sirius on the shoulder to get his attention. He then proceeded to point to the two fuming girls, standing in front of him with their arms folded.

'Grace! Lyra! What are you doing here?' he exclaimed, subtly pushing Grace away. Annabelle gave him a disgusted look.

'I'm _Annabelle. _That,' she said in a disgusted tone, jerking her head in Grace's direction, 'Is Grace.'

'What are you doing with _her_?' demanded Lyra, glaring at Grace.

'Practicing for you, babe?' said Sirius, looking uneasily between the three girls. The girls proceeded to glare at each other, which Sirius took as the perfect opportunity to slip away.

'I have to go, uh, wash my hair,' muttered Sirius, before taking off running towards the castle.

'What are you doing with _my _boyfriend?' spat Lyra, through gritted teeth. Annabelle and Grace both whipped around to glare at her.

'_Your _boyfriend. I've been going out with him for 3 months!' Grace said.

'I don't think so. I've been going out with him since November!' snarled Annabelle.

'Well he says _I'm_ the love of his life!'

'Well _I'm_ the only one he dreams about!'

'Well _I'm _the one he needs!'

'I make his heart complete!' They all said the last line at the same time, and looked at each other with shocked expressions. Cleary, they all made Sirius's heart complete, so they were not mad at Sirius, the cheater, but at each other.

'He said it to me first!' exclaimed Annabelle.

'Um, no he didn't!' said Grace.

'He said it to me today! He loves _me _now,' said Lyra. Lyra turned to James who was sitting on the grass, completely shocked at what he'd witnessed, 'You're his best friend. Tell them how much he talks about _me_!'

James looked completely startled to be asked such a question, and muttered something incoherent.

'James! Speak up!'

'I… didn't know he had a girlfriend,' said James uneasily, and suddenly became particularly interested in the grass. I laughed out loud. Poor James. This however, wasn't a particularly good decision on my part. The three girls all whipped their heads around to face me.

'What are _you _laughing at?' demanded Annabelle, putting a hand on her hip. I couldn't hold in my laughter.

'I'm sorry it's just, why are you pissed off at each other? Sirius was the one who was three-timing you all.'

'How do _you _know? Siri loves _me!_' scoffed Annabelle.

'Well, two hours, one broom closet, Sirius Black and three different girls. You find out some interesting things doing rounds,' I said. Grace, ever the smart one, appeared to be thinking this over.

'I don't think he should be getting away with this,' she said, turning towards the other girls. The other girls, who are a bit slower than Grace at processing information, finally caught on to what was going on.

'You're right. He's been lying to us all,' said Lyra, and Annabelle 'hmmed.'

'We should do something to get back at him for this,' said Annabelle.

'Something like…revenge?' suggested Grace, eyebrows raised. Lyra twirled a piece of her long black hair around her finger, something she apparently did when she was deep in thought.

'We need to hit him where it hurts,' said Lyra.

'The balls?' asked Annabelle. Lyra gave her a look.

'The heart, you moron.'

'Oooh,' came Annabelle's intelligent response.

'We need a plan,' said Lyra. Grace, who had been silent for a while, turned to me.

'You! Blondie! You're helping us out!' she commanded. I sent her a questioning look.

'I barely even know the guy! How can I help?'

Grace grinned evilly, 'You, my dear, are the next girlfriend of Sirius Black.'


End file.
